


Kissing boys in the street

by justhockey



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Buck Has Bad Parents, Child Abuse, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, High School, Homophobia, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Protective Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:33:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24225901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhockey/pseuds/justhockey
Summary: ‘I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me’hits Buck somewhere deep, right in the spaces between his ribs where he hides all of his secrets. Because that’s Buck, exactly; invisible, hidden.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 519





	Kissing boys in the street

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from _Boys In The Street_ by A Great Big World.
> 
> CW in end notes.

There’s something about Eddie Diaz that just pulls people into his orbit. The second he walks into Buck’s English class on the first day of senior year, Buck knows he’s going to fall victim to his magnetism as well. 

And Buck lives in a small town, new kids aren’t that common at all. So when Eddie shows up, his arrival travels throughout the school in a hushed murmur. And god, does Buck understand what they’re talking about. He’s tall and tanned, and the shy smile he gives the class as he waves awkwardly is just. Yeah. Buck is a goner. 

It doesn’t help that the only free seat is next to Buck. Because of course it is. 

“Hey,” Eddie whispers as he sits down beside Buck. 

And fuck, his _voice._ It’s low and gravely and Buck has to concentrate very hard on not melting into a puddle in the middle of Mr Simmons AP Lit class. He clears his throat. 

“Hey,” he replies. 

His voice doesn’t _break,_ ok? Buck is just nervous. It’s not like he has very many friends, or any, really. But that’s besides the point. He’s just not used to being acknowledged, especially by someone who looks like Eddie Diaz. 

“Eddie,” he introduces himself, as if Mr Simmons hadn’t just told the whole class. 

Buck nods. “Buck.”

“Buck?” Eddie asks, turning to look at him briefly, before looking back to the front of the room. 

Mr Simmons is talking about expectations, or something. 

“Uh, Buckley. Evan Buckley,” Buck clarifies. 

He can see Eddie smile and nod out of the corner of his eye. God, he’s beautiful. Buck thinks this could cause a lot of trouble for him, that this boy who has already captured the attention of every girl in class might make his senior year very, _very_ difficult. 

He focuses all of his attention back on the class at hand. They’re studying _Invisible Man_ by Ralph Ellison. Buck has already read it, and it feels like a strange kind of irony, because he’s not Black and this isn’t the 1950s, but he is gay and closeted in _Nowhere, Pennsylvania._

And _‘I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me’_ hits Buck somewhere deep, right in the spaces between his ribs where he hides all of his secrets. Because that’s Buck, exactly; invisible, hidden. Not while Maddie was around, she always saw him, loved him despite everything. But now she’s gone, and he’s not even ‘Maddie Buckley’s little brother’ anymore, he’s just. No one. 

Which, honestly? Kind of works for him. Because being known and being seen is scary for any seventeen year old, but for one like Buck, who has too many ugly parts and bitter secrets, it’s unbearable. So it’s ok. Buck doesn’t mind being invisible. He’s got one year to go and then he’s out of here, and he’s never going to look back. There’s not a single person in this town worth holding onto. So, that’s the plan. 

But when has anything ever worked out for Buck?

They barely exchange more than a handful of words, but from that moment on, Eddie seems to decide that Buck is someone worth knowing. And Eddie is electric, so he’s popular almost instantly, yet he he always finds his way back to Buck. Sits with him in every class they share, eats lunch with him on the bench around the back of school that no one ever goes to, waves to him in the hallway, even when he’s with TK from the football team. 

And then one day, a few weeks before Halloween, he’s walking home from school when he hears heavy footsteps coming up fast behind him. He spins around instinctively, and Eddie is there, breathless and smiling as he slows down to a walk. 

“Hey,” Eddie says.

He falls into place next to Buck, and their arms brush together occasionally as they walk. His heart is beating so loud he’s almost certain Eddie must be able to hear it, because they talk to each other in school, sure, but they’d never so much as _seen_ each other past the school gates before. 

Buck has always thoughts that, for Eddie at least, it’s a friendship of convenience. He couldn’t comprehend that Eddie might actually enjoy his company. But Eddie has actively sought him out, ran to catch up to him, and now they’re walking together and they’re so close and Buck thinks he might actually combust. 

“Hi,” he replies eventually. 

“I saw you from the top of the street, thought we could walk home together. You live near the library, right?” Eddie asks. 

He’s right, but Buck doesn’t bother asking how he knows that. He’s not exaggerating when he says they live in a small town, you can’t sneeze in this place without everyone finding out about it. 

“Yeah,” Buck confirms, “how about you?”

And he can do this. They make conversation every day, have been doing for months, so it’s honestly no different. None at all. Except it feels monumental, really. And Buck knows that it’s absolutely pathetic, that someone talking to him outside of school is such a big deal, but he can’t help it, ok. 

“Near the park,” Eddie tells him, pointing in the general direction. 

So it’s not too far from Buck, and he’d be surprised that he hadn’t noticed it sooner, if he hadn’t been making a very deliberate choice to pay as little attention to Eddie as possible. Because rumours are one thing, but he can’t give people even a shred of ammunition to use against him. He’s made it this far without people finding out, and the beautiful fucking specimen that is Eddie Diaz is _not_ going to make Buck blow his cover. 

“Oh, cool,” Buck says, because he’s a giant dork with awful people skills. 

Eddie chuckles as he slips his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He has a lot of different smiles, his _sorry I’m late_ smile for the teachers, and his _thanks, but no thanks_ smile for all the girls that flirt with him, and even his _I’m laughing even though you’re not funny_ smile that he usually uses with the football jocks. But the one thats curling at his lips now is quieter, feels more genuine, somehow. Buck has only ever seen Eddie wear it around him. He doesn’t know what to do with that information. 

(Okay, so maybe he _has_ been paying attention to Eddie, because how could he not? But he’s discrete with it. Always. Not even Eddie has noticed, so it’s all fine. It _is._ )

“You maybe wanna come to mine? Play some videos games, or something?” Eddie asks. 

And oh. He looks _nervous,_ which Buck can’t even comprehend. Because Eddie is cool, and he’s popular, and Buck is just. He’s just _Buck_. He thinks that half their class wouldn’t even recognise him if they saw his face on a wanted sign. So. Buck’s stomach does somersaults.

“Oh, I uh, I can’t tonight, sorry,” Buck stammers out. 

He’s not lying. There’s probably nothing in the entire world he wants more right now, than to play video games with Eddie. But his parents had yelled at him this morning as he was leaving for school, and he knows that if he doesn’t go straight home, if he puts it off, it’ll only make things worse. 

He avoids looking Eddie in the eye as he feels colour spread across his cheeks. 

“Oh, that’s cool, another time, then?” Eddie asks. 

He nudges Buck’s arm, purposely this time, and when Buck does look at him, he’s smiling hopefully. He’s so pretty that Buck just wants to reach up onto his tip toes and kiss him. He doesn’t. Obviously. 

“Sure, yeah, that sounds great,” Buck agrees instead, smiling genuinely. 

They go their separate ways a few minutes later, Eddie turning left towards the park, and Buck carrying straight on in the direction of the library. But as they’re saying goodbye Eddie rests a gentle hand on Buck’s forearm, and he smiles so warmly that Buck feels like he’s looking into the sun. 

He carries that fuzzy, warm feeling with him, curled up in the pit of his stomach, until his house comes into view. The house itself is completely innocuous, semi-detached and middle class just like the majority of the town, and identical to the one next door, except for the bright red door. 

But nothing about Buck’s house _feels_ innocuous. It feels threatening as he stands in its shadow, hesitating for a moment longer than he should have to before walking up the driveway. His dads car is parked out front, and Buck takes a deep breath before twisting the door handle and walking inside. 

He remembers a quote from _Invisible Man_ as he crosses the threshold. _‘I remember that I’m invisible, and walk softly so as not to awake the sleeping ones’._

He finds himself tiptoeing, trying desperately not to alert his parents that he’s home. But his dad is attuned to Buck’s presence, and he’s barely taken more than a few steps when he materialises in the doorway. His fists are clenched and his face is made of thunder, and Buck finds himself wishing that he was invisible at home, too.

**—————**

Buck finds himself thanking whatever deities that might exist for his school’s weird tradition of dressing up on Halloween. Because when he wakes up on the 31st of October with a black eye and bruised ribs, at least he can turn it into a Halloween costume.

He rips up an old t-shirt and spills some coffee on it for a little something extra, and he’s ready to go - a pitiful excuse for a zombie. And everyone will think he’s spent time painting on the black eye, when it reality it took his dad just seconds to give it to him. 

People do double takes when they see him in the hallway at school and he’s beyond grateful that he gets to hide behind the ruse of a costume, because he doesn’t know what he would have done otherwise. He could have taken the day off, maybe, but he doesn’t want to spend any more time at home than he has to. He’s just glad it’s Friday so it has a chance to fade before he’s next back at school. 

When he sees Eddie across the hallway, he has to bite down hard on his lip to stop himself from like, screaming, or something. Because _holy shit._ Eddie is dressed as Clark Kent, with a pair of black-rimmed glasses, a black suit jacket, a white button down that’s open all the way down to his navel, and a superman t-shirt showing underneath. He basically looks like a wet dream, and Buck is struggling, ok?

But then Eddie sees him, and he frowns at first, before taking in the ripped clothing Buck is wearing and visibly relaxing. He’s with TK and a few other football players, but he reaches his hand up and taps the skin beneath his left eye, mirroring where Buck’s own bruise is. Buck just shrugs his shoulders and smiles, causing Eddie to roll his eyes playfully. 

Buck doesn’t get to see Eddie again for the rest of the day, which, in Buck’s opinion is a complete travesty. But also probably a good idea, in reality. Because Eddie is so perceptive, and Buck worries that if he got a good look at his face, he’d realise that the bruise definitely wasn’t makeup. 

And really, isn’t that one of the main reasons Buck has never gone out of his way to make friends? 

It’s not like he’s always been a complete loser, or whatever, and he had a few friends before Maddie left. But then once she was gone his dad’s temper got worse, and suddenly there were bruises he needed to hide. That’s harder when you have people who care about you. 

Somehow, though, without Buck even really noticing, Eddie has become someone who cares about him. They complain about things to each other, and they trust each other with things no one else knows about them, and Buck thinks Eddie is probably his favourite person in the whole world. Which means he’s also someone he has to lie to. 

It’s not until he’s walking home that he sees Eddie again. Like that first time, he hears his footsteps before he sees him, and when he stops and turns around, Eddie is running to catch up with him. He still looks absolutely unreal, even with his glasses askew on his face and messy hair that he’s clearly ran his hands through. Probably in math class, Eddie hates math. (Buck hates that he knows that). 

“Hey Buck,” Eddie says, a little out of breath but smiling all the same. 

And Buck had hoped that he’d become immune to Eddie’s smile, or at least a little more used to it, but unfortunately he’d had no such luck. His heart still acts stupid every time he has that smile directed at him, and he has to told his tongue to stop himself from saying something stupid. 

“Hey superman,” Buck teases. 

Eddie rolls his eyes and elbows Buck playfully. It wouldn’t be a big deal, if it weren’t for how his dad shoved him into the door yesterday. So Buck winces and pulls away, and Eddie immediately has a look of concern cross his face. Buck smiles, tries to act like it hasn’t happened, but like he said, Eddie is perceptive. 

“You okay?” Eddie asks. 

He stops in the middle of the sidewalk and takes hold of Buck’s wrist to stop him too. And he stills instantly, because Eddie’s hand is on Buck’s bare skin and it’s burning in the best way possible. 

“I’m good,” Buck manages to say, but his voice sounds high pitched and he’s definitely lying. 

“Buck.” 

Eddie says his name so gently and he hates it. He hates that the second someone shows him the tiniest bit of tenderness, Buck gets choked up. He can’t do this, not with anyone but especially not _Eddie Diaz_ , who he might actually be falling in love with. Who eats lunch with him, and laughs with him, and doesn’t ask too many questions when Buck is more withdrawn than usual. 

“I’m fine,” Buck tries to reassure to him. 

But then Eddie is frowning and stepping closer, and his fingers are brushing the bruise around Buck’s left eye, and Buck is trying very hard not to cry. He pulls back, because they’re in the middle of the street and absolutely _anyone_ could see, and if his dad found out, _fuck._ He’d kill him. 

“Let’s go back to mine?” Eddie suggests. 

Buck hasn’t been to Eddie’s house before, has always managed to make excuses, and Eddie never pushed him. But he agrees now, nodding shyly and following along slightly behind him. 

He’s grateful that Eddie knew not to ask Buck any more questions, it was probably clear in his eyes that Buck was close to breaking. So they walk in silence, and every so often Eddie lets the back of his hand brush against Buck’s. It’s grounding, and by the time they reach Eddie’s, Buck is breathing properly again. 

“My parents are hardly ever home, they work a lot,” Eddie says as they’re climbing the stairs up to Eddie’s bedroom. “And my sisters are both in college.”

He collapses onto the double bed pushed into the corner of the room, and then pats the mattress for Buck to join him as he starts up the Xbox. He doesn’t ask any questions, doesn’t even give Buck any concerned looks, they just play round after round of Mario Kart like it’s some kind of therapy. 

It’s probably been almost half an hour when Buck finally talks. 

“My parents are kinda shitty,” he says. “It’s whatever.”

He says it so matter of fact because that’s just the reality of it for him. They’ve always been terrible parents, even before Maddie left for college, it just so happened that it got worse after. But Buck has been living with it for so long that it’s almost normal for him now. He’s used to walking on egg shells, holding his tongue, having to earn every single scrap of kindness and affection. It just, _is._

He can see Eddie still out of the corner of his eye, watches as his finger hovers over the pause button on the controller before deciding against it. Buck is glad. He doesn’t think he could say this if Eddie was watching him, he’s not sure he’ll even be able to say it all. 

“My dad loses his temper sometimes,” Buck continues. 

It’s an understatement. Buck isn’t even sure that his dad has a temper _to_ lose. His baseline is annoyed, and it escalates in intervals: angry, then outraged, then furious, all the way up to downright violent. 

Eddie hasn’t paused the game but neither of them are playing it now, they’re just sitting beside each other, barely moving a muscle. The atmosphere feels charged, like one spark could ignite the whole thing and set everything burning. 

“That’s not okay, Buck,” Eddie says quietly. 

It’s weird, because objectively Buck knows that. Like, of course it isn’t okay for his dad to hurt him. But no one has ever actually _told_ him that before, no one has ever said that what’s happening to him isn’t okay. It makes Buck feel too many things all at once. 

He feels overwhelmed, afraid, _relieved_. Safe, too. Because Buck has said it, he’s admitted his biggest secret to Eddie and the world hasn’t collapsed, Eddie hasn’t left him, nothing has changed. Except for how Buck feels like the weight on his shoulders is a little lighter now. A burden shared is a burden halved, and all that rubbish. 

“I know,” he answers, his voice barely audible. 

He doesn’t know what else to say, and clearly Eddie doesn’t either. Because really, what _could_ either of them say? It’s the way things are, the way they’ve been for years, and words aren’t going to change that. 

But then Eddie lets go of the Xbox controller and seeks out Buck’s hand instead. His fingers are warm as they lock with Buck’s, it feels like comfort and acceptance, and it’s so achingly tender that it brings tears to Buck’s eyes. 

“I’ve got you,” Eddie whispers, and Buck feels home for the first time in years. 

Leaving people and places behind has never been difficult for Buck, because no one and nowhere has ever been worth sticking around for. But leaving Eddie’s house a few hours later feels like a gargantuan task. They hold hands all the way to the front door, and Eddie squeezes tightly before letting Buck go.

The walk home is too quiet, all the kids in the neighbourhood have finished trick or treating. And it’s definitely too short, because suddenly he’s in his living room and everything is loud again. 

“Where have you been?” His dad demands. 

He’s towering over Buck the second he walks through the door, doesn’t even give him enough time to take his backpack off before he’s yelling in his face. 

“At Eddie’s,” Buck replies. 

He hates how afraid he sounds, hates how his dad makes him feel like a frightened little boy every single time he speaks to him. Buck feels weak, helpless, and he’d probably be embarrassed if he wasn’t so used to the feeling. He can’t remember the last time he felt anything other than small in his dad’s presence. 

“Who the fuck is Eddie?” 

“A friend from school,” Buck answers. 

_Friend_ doesn’t feel like a strong enough word to describe Eddie, who is gentle with Buck, and who makes things feel okay even when they’re so far from it. But Buck isn’t trying to get killed, so he keeps things as simple as possible. 

His dad sneers and turns around to look at his mom, raises his eyebrows as if to say _’have you heard this?’_

“Friend? _You?_ ” He sniggers. “Don’t make me laugh.”

Buck feels the anger rise in him but swallows it down, refrains from clenching his fists, and looks his dad in the eye. 

“We were just playing video games,” he says, and it’s technically true, even if not completely. 

He sees a flicker in his dads eyes, rage that Buck would dare to look him in the eye and answer back. His fist rises momentarily, clenched in anger, but then he lowers it again, takes a step back and shakes his head, laughing. 

“You’re not even worth it,” he says, then walks out of the room. 

And isn’t it funny that that hurts more than a fist ever could. 

Buck glances at his mom, who hasn’t moved from where she’s sitting on the arm of the couch. Her expression is completely blank, and Buck wants to feel angry at her for letting him treat her son that way. But honestly, he just feels nothing. There’s not even a shred of feeling left for her, she’s let him down so many times now that he’s completely indifferent to her. 

He goes up to his bedroom, and falls asleep thinking about the way Eddie’s hand felt in his.

**—————**

Eddie becomes his safe place after that. Whenever Eddie is with him Buck can breathe a little easier, can smile and actually have it reach his eyes. And Eddie, god, he’s so _perfect._ All he has to do is smile at Buck from across the hall and the tension in his shoulders eases instantly. When they eat lunch together, on the bench around the back of school that nobody goes to, he lets his thigh press against Buck’s, a heavy grounding presence that says _‘I’m here’_.

It feels like there could be something growing between them, something more than friendship. Buck can feel it in the way Eddie smiles at him, and the way their arms brush together when they walk home from school, and the way their hands always end up tangled together when they’re locked away in Eddie’s room. 

But neither of them ever mention it, because this town is too small for people who are different, and their friendship feels too important to risk, anyway. It’s easier, to keep quiet and pretend that nothing is there, that they don’t feel the tether that connects them to each other. 

Buck still finds himself over at Eddie’s house after school almost every day, though. Whether they’re playing video games, or watching movies, or doing homework, Buck always has fun. Being with Eddie is his favourite part of the day. 

“Listen to this,” he says one day. 

Eddie is sitting cross-legged on his bed, and Buck is lying on his stomach, stretched out across the floor. They have an essay due for Mr Simmons, and Buck is flicking through _Invisible Man_ to find the quotes he’s highlighted. Eddie makes a sound of acknowledgement so Buck clears his throat and begins to read. 

“ _What and how much had I lost by trying to do only what was expected of me, instead of what I myself had wished to do?_ ” Buck quotes. 

Eddie looks up from where he, too, had been reading, and his eyes lock with Buck’s. The quote is ambiguous enough that Buck could argue plausible deniability. But there’s a hint of a blush, high up on Eddie’s cheek bones, and Buck knows that he’s thinking deeply, knows that he has picked up on exactly what Buck means. Because they can’t find the words to say it themselves, it’s too big and too scary, but someone else’s words are maybe okay, Buck thinks. 

The way Eddie’s mouth twists into a smile, all soft and shy, and the way he struggles to maintain eye contact with Buck confirms it. It’s huge, because they know nothing will ever, _can_ ever, come of this, but at least it’s an acknowledgement. At least they both know they’re on the same page. 

And when Buck says goodbye later, he holds onto Eddie’s hand just a fraction of a second longer than usual. _I’d love you if I could._

Then one evening Buck smashes a glass while washing the dishes, and the next morning he’s too bruised to go to school. Eddie texts him worriedly all day, but Buck doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how to without worrying him even more, and he can’t risk putting the truth down in writing anyway. 

So he waits until the end of school and then leaves the house while his parents are at still at work. (His dad left on a business trip that morning, so at least he won’t have to deal with him when gets home).

Eddie’s face when he sees Buck is what finally makes him break. He lets Eddie take hold of his hand, carefully pull him inside the house and up to his bedroom. Eddie sits him down on the bed then wraps his arms around him, gentle like he’s afraid Buck will fall apart if he holds him too tightly. 

Buck just cries, for his dad, and his mom, and Maddie. For the hurt and the fear and the exhaustion. Just for all of it, all of the things that he’s worked so hard to bottle away and not have to deal with. And Eddie just holds him silently, doesn’t try to say anything, just lets him feel every single emotion like it’s okay, like he has nothing to be ashamed of. 

When the tears finally run dry and Buck has a crick in his neck from where he’d been leaning on Eddie’s shoulder, he pulls back to look at Eddie. 

He almost starts crying again when he sees that Eddie’s eyes are red and watery too, and there are tears tracks trailing down his cheeks. He wants to say something to make it all better, he never wants Eddie to hurt, especially not for him. But he doesn’t think the words exist for this kind of hurt, so he lets his forehead rest against Eddie’s and they sit there, sharing each other’s breath. 

Eventually they pull away. Eddie’s fingers, as gentle as they’ve always been, begin to trace the marks on Buck’s face. The bruise on his cheekbone, the split lip, the shadow under his jawline. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice thick and sad. 

Buck smiles even though it hurts. He takes hold of the hand that isn’t cupping his cheek and squeezes. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way they can express their feelings, holding tight and squeezing hard, and just being there for each other, always. 

“I’m okay,” Buck says. 

And he’s not, not really. But for now he’s here with Eddie, and he’s safe. And that’s the most _okay_ Buck has felt in a long time. 

“I wish I could do something,” Eddie replies, because he’s got the biggest heart of anyone Buck has ever know. 

“You are,” Buck promises. “You’re here.”

Eddie pulls him close again, refuses to let him go home and makes him stay the weekend while his dad isn’t there to find out. Buck agrees.

**—————**

It somehow manages to feel like both the biggest surprise of Buck’s life, _and_ an inevitability, when Eddie finally kisses him.

It’s weeks after he’d shown up at his house, bruised and crying, and all the marks have faded now. But Eddie is still gentle when he cups Buck’s face between both hands and kisses him, so softly it makes Buck feel like crying. 

They’d been in Eddie’s bedroom playing a video game and Buck had beaten him again. It happened so fast that Buck is pretty sure even Eddie was surprised at himself. But Eddie had let out a groan of frustration and, after tossing his controller onto the floor, he’d wrestled Buck so he was lying flat, with Eddie sitting on his thighs and hovering over him. 

For a second Buck couldn’t breathe, they were so close and it was so _much_ , and then Eddie took his face between his hands and just. Kissed him. 

“Uh, what,” Buck says dumbly, once Eddie has pulled back. 

Eddie immediately tenses and drops his hands from Buck’s face. 

“Fuck, sorry, shit, I’m-“

He tries to climb off but Buck, his brain having finally switched back on, locks his arms around Eddie’s waist. Eddie stops wriggling instantly and his eyes meet Buck’s. 

“Hi,” Buck says. 

“Hi,” Eddie replies, and his voice is hoarse and his lips are pink and. 

Buck leans up to kiss him again, pulls Eddie so he collapses his weight on top of him. And it could be lifetimes or minutes before they pull away again, grinning at each other with stupid expressions on their faces. Buck’s heart is singing when Eddie burrows his face into the crook of his neck. 

“So that happened,” Buck says. 

“Yeah,” Eddie murmurs against his neck. 

“I’m glad,” he admits. 

“Me too,” Eddie agrees, kissing the spot just above his collarbone.

**—————**

Things barely even change between them, which is probably more of a testament to how bad they were at hiding their feelings than anything else. Because they’re still best friends, they do all the same things that they’ve always done, expect now they walk to school together too, and also kiss sometimes.

Okay. All the time. It’s a real struggle trying to get their homework done now, because the second they’re locked away in Eddie’s bedroom, it’s impossible to keep their hands to themselves. They go slow, because this is new to both of them and absolutely terrifying, but it’s wonderful all the same. 

It’s beyond what Buck had ever imagined for himself. Maybe, _maybe_ when he was off at college and this town and his parents were nothing but a distant memory. But not here. He had never imagined he could find this here, in the town that, before Eddie, had only ever caused him pain. 

But he has found it, and it’s breathtaking. 

He meets Eddie’s parents eventually. Only as his best friend, of course. But the look Eddie’s mom gives them, and the blush that colours Eddie’s cheeks, tells Buck that she maybe, probably knows the truth. And it’s okay. Because she smiles warmly and hugs Buck in a way that his own mom never has, and she tells him he’s welcome any time. 

Eddie says it first. 

They’re watching a movie, but Eddie is more focused on the ring of bruises around Buck’s wrist, shaped exactly like his dads fingers. Eddie caresses them gently, like he always does with Buck’s bruises. But then this time..

“I love you,” he says. 

His voice is strong, unwavering, and he sounds so certain that Buck’s breath catches in his lungs. Eddie is looking at him so intensely, and he just _knows_ that he means it. 

“I love you too,” Buck replies. 

Because obviously. Buck has been falling for Eddie from the moment he laid eyes on him, he was always going to reach this point. He just can’t believe Eddie has reached it too. 

Eddie smiles then, surges forwards to catch Buck’s lips in a kiss. He laughs into Buck’s open mouth, and Buck can’t help but laugh back. It feels surreal, _impossible,_ but they’re here, and they love each other. 

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” Buck whispers into Eddie’s ear. 

Because this kind of love, it’s new to Buck. He’s never had it before, a love without conditions, a love that he doesn’t have to earn, but is just given to him freely. The enormity of it is staggering. 

“You don’t have to do anything to _deserve_ it, Evan,” Eddie tells him. “You just love people because you love them.”

And that’s not a concept that Buck is familiar with, but he likes it. 

It feels like lifetimes ago that he was sitting in AP English Lit on the first day of senior year, thinking about how all he wanted to do was escape this place. Time doesn’t feel real now that Eddie is in his life, some moments last forever and some are over in the blink of an eye, but every single one with Eddie is special. 

And things are going amazing. Until they’re not. 

It’s Buck’s own fault, really. It’s just that they’ve gotten so comfortable being themselves at Eddie’s house, it doesn’t even feel like a big deal when he kisses Eddie on the doorstep as he’s leaving. 

But if this town is too small for people like them, then it’s _definitely_ too small for secrets. And he doesn’t know who saw them, but when Buck makes it home his dad is waiting for him, wearing an expression that almost makes his knees buckle beneath him. 

“Dad?” Buck says, his voice wobbling in fear. 

“Don’t you fucking call me that.”

He isn’t even shouting, that’s how Buck knows it’s bad. His voice is even, and quiet, and absolutely terrifying. His hands start to shake and his heart is pounding so loud that it echoes in his ears. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“ _What’s wrong?_ ” he scoffs. “Don’t you play dumb with me.”

Buck doesn’t know if he’s ever been this afraid before in his entire life. He doesn’t know what to say or do, can barely even breathe under the weight of his fathers glare. 

“I don’t-“

“You’re a fucking disgrace!”

And he’s screaming now, stepping closer to Buck and pointing in his face. Buck doesn’t know how he’s still standing. 

“How’s Eddie, eh?” He spits out Eddie’s name like it’s venomous. “Your _friend,_ is he?”

Suddenly Buck knows. Knows that someone saw them and told his dad. His entire body runs cold and his stomach drops. He can feels the pins and needles in his fingertips, creeping up his arms, all the way to his chest. 

The white hot pain spreads across Buck’s face and down his neck before he even registers the fist coming towards him. He gasps in pain and stumbles backwards, his hand instinctively reaching up to cup his face. 

“Get out of my house,” his dad says, his voice level again. Flat. 

Buck doesn’t even hesitate. He grabs his backpack and then leaves. The door clicks behind him with an air of finality, and then the tears start to fall. 

He doesn’t want to bother Eddie with this, doesn’t want to put this on him, but he has nowhere else to go. And by the time he’s knocking at Eddie’s door, Buck’s whole body is trembling as he sobs. The pain in his face and in his heart is just too much to process. 

The door opens and it’s Helena, Eddie’s mom. Her hand flies up to cover her mouth in shock, and then she’s instantly welcoming him inside, calling upstairs for Eddie. She fusses over Buck for a few seconds, not saying anything, just resting her hands on either side of his face, then on his shoulders. 

“Buck?” 

He turns around to where Eddie’s voice came from, and the second he sees him a fresh wave of sobs wracks his body. 

“Oh mi amor,” Eddie whispers. 

His arms are around Buck in no time and he holds him close, lets his hand run through Buck’s hair while he cries into Eddie’s chest. He can hear Helena and Ramon’s voices too, but he focuses on Eddie’s. 

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you it’s okay, I’m here,” Eddie whispers into Buck’s hair. 

He doesn’t ask any questions until they’re away from his parents. Not that Eddie doesn’t trust them, but because he knows how Buck feels about other people knowing what goes on at home. So when they’re lay in bed and Buck tucked into Eddie’s arms, an ice pack Helena had given him resting on his cheek, Eddie asks. 

“Baby, what happened?”

It takes Buck three tries to explain, because every single time he opens his mouth to talk, the words catch in his throat and he starts crying. 

“They know,” Buck says. 

It’s not much, but he can feel Eddie’s arms tighten around him, and he knows that Eddie has figured it out. 

“ _Oh, Evan,_ ” he sighs. “How did they find out?”

“Someone saw me kiss you when I was leaving.” Buck can basically _feel_ the apology Eddie is about to give. “It’s not your fault, it’s not,” he promises. 

Eddie doesn’t say anything, just keeps Buck tight to his chest. They lie there in silence for a while, because they both know there aren’t any words for the situation. But Buck feels _so_ safe with Eddie, so comfortable that he feels like he can talk about it without any fear of judgement. 

“He hit me, and then he kicked me out.”

“It’s gonna be okay,” Eddie says. 

And if anyone else had told him that, Buck would have been mad. But when it’s Eddie saying it, he can’t help but believe it. 

Buck doesn’t remember falling asleep, but the next time his eyes flutter open it’s light outside and Eddie is warm beneath him. He yawns and rubs his eyes, sore from all the crying last night. Last night. His heart aches all over again when he remembers what happened. 

“Morning,” Eddie whispers. 

“Hi,” Buck replies. “What time is it?”

Eddie lowers his phone so Buck can see the time, and when Buck realises they’re beyond late for school, he tries to sit up. 

“Nope, we’re staying home today, it’s okay.”

Buck sighs in relief. His face still hurts and he’s certain that if someone even glanced at him wrong today, he’d probably just start crying. He feels empty, there’s a hollowness where his heart should be and he doesn’t know how to feel about any of it. But Eddie’s arms tighten around him, like he knows exactly what Buck is thinking, and it feels a little better after that. 

“How are you feeling?” Eddie asks, once they’re sitting side by side against the headboard. 

Buck shrugs. “Sad. I know it’s dumb, they’ve been so awful to me for so long, but they’re still my parents, y’know?”

And Eddie doesn’t know, really. Because his parents love him so fiercely, would do anything for him, love him no matter what. So he doesn’t know, but he nods anyway and Buck feels like he understands, even just a little bit.

“I just, I just wanted them to love me,” he continues, his voice cracking. 

He refuses to cry though, he’s done enough of that already.

“You deserve so much better,” Eddie insists, pressing his lips to Buck’s temple in a gentle kiss. 

“They just didn’t know how to be parents,” Buck says. 

He doesn’t know why he’s defending them. God knows they don’t deserve it. But it feels natural, instinctive, to protect them even though they’ve never protected him. 

Eddie picks up his copy of _Invisible Man_ from where it’s resting on his nightstand. The pages are worn and dog-eared from months of flipping through it. Eddie is clearly looking for something, so Buck leans down to press a kiss to his shoulder while he waits. 

“ _I have been hurt to the point of abysmal pain, hurt to the point of invisibility. And I defend because in spite of it all, I find that I love, _” Eddie reads. “It’s you, Evan. Your heart, it’s so, _so_ good.”__

__Buck would probably cry if he had any tears left, but instead he just slides down a little so he can rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder._ _

__“I love you,” he says._ _

__“I love you,” Eddie replies._ _

__They sit in the quiet for a while, letting the late morning sun warm their faces as they hold each other. Buck doesn’t know what’s going to happen, and there are a million things he should probably worry about._ _

__But right now, he feels at peace._ _

__And right now, that’s enough._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warning: mentions of physical child abuse, I don’t think it’s described too graphically, but there are minor descriptions of injuries. Nothing gruesome. There’s also heavily implied homophobia, but no actual slurs are used.
> 
> Disclaimer: I’ve never actually read _Invisible Man_ , all of my knowledge of it is from Wikipedia and the quotes are from goodreads so sorry if anything is incorrect!


End file.
